The interview started innocent enough…

Actually, I should clarify: The interview startes as innocent as an interview can when I interview a bachelorette with a shirt full of gummy bears and I’ve got a dollar burning a hole in my pocket.

It looked like your normal themed harem of similarly dressed ladies ranging from girls to women. The bride-to-be adorned in a penis trimmed cow-boy hat, vial, and a gummy-bear shirt with the obligatory "suck for a buck" sign.

Traveling from Houston for a night in the Quarter, they were looking to cause trouble in any way they could, drinking, going to strip clubs, and doing other naughty things girls like to do when alcohol is mixed with the anonymity associated with visiting another city 347 miles away. The fact that it's New Orleans only multiplies that behavior.

Getting back to the hole in my pocket there I was face to face with both the maid of honor and the girl of the hour. "You can take your pick for a buck," the maid offered. Fortunately, I had a dollar left to take her up on the offer. After a bit of shirt rearranging by the party I found my target and quickly nipped one.

While I was down there I also ate a gummy bear.

There was a little more banter and then things got strange. The next moments are hazy as I think the gummy bear in question was laced with some type of drug. BeforeI knew it, the bride's mother decided I was good enough to eat, bit my neck, and started sucking. Hard.

When she finished there was a pretty good sized bruise near the base of my neck. They decided it was time to move on and I went back to the corner to survey the damage.

"There is going to be some explaining tonight," I thought looking at the purple and blue spot on my neck. Browsing the 72-hour archive I found exhibits A and B:

This experience taught me a very important lesson: Watch out for the older ones… they’re frisky.